Posted by: piratebonny | October 29, 2011

Beast On Film


It is with a heavy pirate dog heart, I am forced to confirm the accounts of the Beast’s indiscretions have been founded. I was given the evidence early this morning by an anonymous source. Though, I believed the first photo taken must have been an unfortunate coincidence of being seen at the wrong place at the wrong time – my Beast does have that particular luck, I’ve noticed. He has been wrongly accused before and has been able to clear his name every time. I was confident this would be the case again.

There was no denying the second, unequivocal piece. The mystery remains as his location continues to be unknown and the disturbing expression on his face does chill one to the bones. I have been told of strange things happening to folks around this time of year; when the veil between the worlds is thin. I know that may be my Beast in body, but I fear that his spirit has been pinched. I don’t know by whom, but I am determined to find out.

Alarms of voodoo and other black arts have been raised and the Potter Gang have decided to venture out tonight to see whether or not we can rescue our comrade. I don’t know what I believe at this point and I am anxious for my crew to wander off into unknown territory while I must hold our ground and keep our home safe from predators who roam more freely at this time of year.

Big-Eye Potter insisted that it was his birthright that he was chosen to lead and insures me that, somehow, the Beast can be saved. I pray his optimism isn’t misguided. I hope the Beast doesn’t come back to murder us all.

Posted by: piratebonny | October 21, 2011

The Beast Goes AWOL

For the most part, my crew can take care of themselves and though I have been known to dote on them (particularly No-Eye Potter since she has her moments of frailty), I am confident they do not need me constantly barking orders at them. Besides, that would make my throat sore.

It was unfortunate to discover today that one of my scrappier crew, who goes only by the name of Beast, has earned himself a bit of bad press. I found signs posted and the heavily whispered gossip was that he murdered at least six – some believed up to eight – and near our humble hideaway, of all places!

Beast: Wanted for Murder

By the time I tried to find him and get his side of the story, the Beast had took his belongings and scampered off! I couldn’t believe one of my own would do such a thing – have so little self-control and be so careless as to get himself caught! (I suspected that Big-Eye may have assisted in getting rid of the bodies, but no confirmation, yet. Big-Eye can be incredibly stubborn at times.)

The Beast is a little more high-strung and has his moments causing mischief, but the idea of him being as nefarious as the claims? Rubbish, I say! You’ve got the wrong feline. I know my crew.

It looks like another adventure for the Potter Gang and myself as we track down the Beast. Hopefully the Law hasn’t gotten to him first. They tend not to understand the way things work – but I think the turkeys “running the show” are the real trouble. Birds of a feather, y’know… So many stool pigeons about.

Posted by: piratebonny | September 29, 2011

The Return to Devil’s Lake

Time has a way of softening the edges, nostalgia takes logic hostage and – if you’re lucky – rattles you up a bit, making you wiser. So was our experience returning to the massive hideout at Devil’s Lake – having been there just over a year ago to this day.

Without our previous escorts, the Cuddle Guns, our entourage thought it would be safest to slip onto the grounds with only a blanket of stars to light our way. I preferred the more direct approach, myself, but I was tired along with my crew and allowed the Potter Gang to succumb to their mild paranoia. It was a beautiful night, though slightly overcast.

Once we made camp and settled for the evening, we knew something had gone awry when the sirens’ songs spread through the darkness. There was little else stirring which was odd being that I had remembered this place being lively, no matter the hour. I was not sure what to expect and tried to get some sleep, despite the haunting sounds and restlessness.

The morning found us in good spirits and rested well enough to inspect the area and see that the grounds were mostly deserted – only the heartiest of creatures seemed to linger. No-Eye Potter and I went to the jetty to watch the mist rise and emerging light play on the lake. I found that without the Cuddle Guns, Devil’s Lake did not have the same energy, though still beautiful.

Big-Eye implored us to go to the sand, so that he could walk along the water and I decided it would do well for all of us to stretch our legs. Did I mention we had booked passage with a Viking and his Lady? We were an unusual menagerie but we found stranger folk on the strand.

The sea air was marvelous and we stood entranced with the white-capped waves crashing all around us. I took a few daring leaps with Big-Eye as No-Eye kept herself distant to us and close inland. It was a great day to be a scurvy dog.

Eventually we headed back to base camp and Big-Eye started breakfast, as he was the only one fit to keep us from dying of hunger. A rich and filling meal of eggs and sausages and bacon kept our group happy while I chose something more suited for my refined tastes – but I wasn’t about to deny my crew their pleasures.

As he tidied our makeshift galley, he was startled to come upon a terrible, unknown creature he hadn’t words to describe. For several minutes, I was certain he had been struck mute. His face certainly held the fear of one faced with grave danger. I pitied myself for not being so faithfully at his side as I was with No-Eye, tending to yet another battle scar she earned while protecting me from some of the more rowdy inhabitants of Devil’s Lake. She is the more delicate of the duo, though I hasten to add that she is more willing to scrap than is her other half.

There was treasure hunting – and some false starts – but our trip was peppered with equal parts of happiness and struggle. Our last act before leaving Devil’s Lake was the destruction of our camp. It had to be done – the abode had been overrun with the more unseemly beings and Big-Eye thought it best to raze it to the ground. I agreed it was best to make it equally inhospitable for anyone else to use. Mother Nature would take care of the rest.

I believe we will return to Devil’s Lake again, but not until these memories fade and nostalgia makes things pleasant once again.

Posted by: piratebonny | September 6, 2011

Treasure Hunting in the Enchanted Forest

It has been a long and exhausting journey for the Potter Gang and I, but now that we’ve finally returned to our hideout – safe and sound – I feel that it is necessary to document our latest ordeal. We have survived many a hairy situation before, but this one has made a serious impact upon all our lives. We may never be the same again.

Many months ago, the Potter Gang had introduced me to cousin Lucy, who happened to run with a mighty army of dragons. Thankfully they saw us as no threat and welcomed us whenever we roamed their hunting grounds. Being that dragons were a little like pirates, always in search of good treasure, the army generously took us on several hunting expeditions and (more importantly) shared the spoils.

We had never seen such wealth and with so many caches hidden in plain sight, I knew that we must capitalise upon this loot! The Potter Gang smartly agreed with me so we were soon off on our own excursions – with the permission of the great dragon army to allow safe passage through their lands.

Pirate Bonny tends to No-Eye Potter

Pirate Bonny tends to No-Eye Potter

Big-Eye Potter was our trusty navigator, as always, being that No-Eye Potter could get lost in a paper bag. We headed out, with treasure on our minds and determination in our hearts, to the enchanted forest in the southwest.

No-Eye Potter was also our first casualty on the trip, though I tried to motivate her, demanding loyalty. I don’t know if it worked, but her fall made for an interesting and unexpected meeting (with a fellow pirate!) as well as unknowingly assisted Big-Eye (though he was slow to admit it, bless him).

Second Treasure Found!

Second Treasure Found!

The next haul was far easier to find and by this time No-Eye had found her land-legs – so we went at a faster clip. Much excitement boosted the Potter Gang from our first find, so the next one only improved morale. I must say I was instrumental in locating this cache – but Big-Eye is a proud animal and heralded his navigation prowess over my sense of smell.

No bother, but we all know who really is in charge here.

Besotted with our grand fortune and good luck of the day, we pushed to our final treasure trove that had No-Eye thanking the forest guardians that had kept her from taking another perilous fall (or else she was being facetious, having blamed them for her previous spill).

No trolls here

No trolls here

We found no trolls standing sentry so taking the cache was as easy as stealing sweets from a babe.

All in all, it was a good day. The Potter Gang and I suspect we’ll be doing this more

often and if I can coerce No-Eye away from her bookish-ness and gadgets and into the fresh air, all the better, no?

Posted by: piratebonny | November 1, 2010

Bonny’s First Hallowe’en Adventure

The Potter Gang and I decided to wander further into the brush on this fine, crisp day – to take advantage of the weather and to witness something called Hallowe’en that No-Eye Potter seemed a little more excited about than Big-Eye did. I had never heard of this strange festival until quite recently but the idea of strangers handing out treats sounded brilliant to me, and I was ready for the experience.

We started our journey in the early afternoon, chasing the sun to the horizon. We were all in good spirits, everyone still a bit storm weary from our various ills from the month. I believe The Potter Gang also went on a bit of a bender the last few days, I haven’t the slightest reason why…

It was beautiful and I led us all at an easy pace, looking for rumoured signs of this Hallowe’en festival in the form of a free meal. No-Eye mentioned people dressed in fancy attire, all strutting about to impress each other and cooed in delight about the prospect of seeing them. Big-Eye mentioned the more gruesome aspects of this supposed “holy day” of skeletons and demons and the dead coming back to haunt the living. The only bit they agreed on was the treats, and I figured if we found ourselves in any bit of a scuffle, we’d be savvy enough to escape injury.

As we walked on, we found a fresh beheading. Sad mate…the kill must have been so fast, he died still wearing his drunken smile. I must admit that I did possess the morbid fascination to linger a moment or two longer, wondering what sort of trouble could justify that punishment. Or else he must have done his own bit of villany; he does not have a totally honest face. Still, what a way to exit this world…

Other than watching a cycling Egyptian Pharaoh go past, the day was serene and the few inhabitants we met on our travels were very reserved. I wondered if No-Eye had been exaggerating her nostalgia (she is taken to flights of fancy from time to time). I wasn’t too bothered since it was still a lovely day and I was with my family. What more could I have wanted (besides free treats)?

The one thing we were able to spot was a congregation of ghosts! I was not afraid and No-Eye Potter was excited to discover them. Big-Eye was highly amused at our spectacle. They seemed not bothered by our presence and we were able to observe them for several minutes before leaving for home. Strange creatures, those ghosts…but cheerful, at least.

The colours of autumn were here, but we were given a beautifully warm day to enjoy and the only disappointment I had was that we could not find one citizen giving out free treats! I was not amused but the Potter Gang did not seem as bothered and they made sure I had treats when we returned home. It wasn’t the same, I knew, but at least I didn’t have to dress up or lose my dignity.

I suppose my first Hallowe’en was tame, but very agreeable and everything is so much better when you’re surrounded by your family. Next year, though, I want more treats. Lastly, I hear there are some videos of me out there and I’m not sure if I’m entirely comfortable with that…

Posted by: piratebonny | October 24, 2010

Sickness Strikes Again!

As I reported last week, disease had taken a hold onto my loyal companion, Big-Eye Potter, and this week, it was my turn to be struck down.

The other day, we met with a charming lass who was a native of the Alaskan wilderness – and because of the skills she learned as a young pup, the Potter Gang requested her advice on some tactical moves they were considering for a future plundering. They talked long into the evening, mapping out possible scenarios, as I lounged on our property, enjoying my day off.

We had a good, filling meal and the night sky stayed clear. I was feeling pretty good. It was not to last as we bedded down for the night, I suddenly realised something was deadly wrong. I became violently ill and alerted my crew for assistance. Our exotic revels apparently gave me what is known in these parts as “Delhi Belly” and I felt the most miserable as I have ever.


Big-Eye gives Bonny a Cuddle


I believe the guilty culprit were the dental sticks that looked appealling at first blush. They smelled good and were long-lasting, but I know some ingredient did not agree with my digestion. The room rocked to and fro – as though we had hit a maelstrom head on in a raft made of papier mâché. I felt disoriented and bellowed out my despair of the unexplainable pain.

Big-Eye came to my rescue first, comforting me, and No-Eye immediately went to work on setting things right again. The sickness was overwhelming and I cannot recall just how I was soothed and returned to my bed, but I was grateful the worst had seemed to pass.

The next morning, after a small bowl of rice (No-Eye’s ancestry hailed from the Orient and she always had the grain at the ready), I was feeling more like myself so my kin accompanied me on a brisk walk to stretch and start my day.

We also threw the ball around…

No-Eye went back to doing her chores and Big-Eye’s horrible purple growth has now turned black (I hope that means it’s dying); another pleasant day at our humble hideout.

Posted by: piratebonny | October 18, 2010

Disease Strikes My Crew!

My faith in the Potter Gang has never wavered – from the first time they rescued me from The County Jail, to our last run-in with the Cuddle Guns – I have never had to question their loyalty. I was most surprised when I started to grow suspicious of Big-Eye Potter and his strange new behaviour.

Big-Eye is the stronger one of the two and is responsible for most of the manual labour at our humble hideout. I started to notice a while back that there was a change in Big-Eye and I decided to test my theory.

I observed he was favouring his right hand, so I decided to hit it to see the reaction. Big-Eye Potter yelped like a puppy and kept his hand away from my nose from that point forward – but did not speak a word of what was wrong. I couldn’t get any answer out of No-Eye Potter since I believe she was not aware of the ruse, either.

She knew there was something amiss and cooed at him more often, now, allowing him more rest than was usual. Big-Eye took to more aggressive snoring.

The other day, I finally discovered a huge growth on Big-Eye that had swelled and turned his hand (all the way up to the arm) purple! His hand has a strange odour and the pain seems to come in greater waves, but Big-Eye has been brave through it all.

I had tried to apply what I knew of doggy-saliva therapy to no avail. Big-Eye refused my help and I, as his leader and captain, am hurt and devastated that he would deny me! I have no idea what has gotten into my mate, but I have a feeling that mass of violet that has swallowed his arm has something to do with it.

I just hope that I can stop it in time before it grows eyes and a tongue…

Posted by: piratebonny | October 10, 2010

Long Lost Cousin Lucy

Life back on the Willamette River had been a dream, if not a little lonely after my ordeal at Devil’s Lake (1, 2, 3). The routine of walks, play time and daytime naps, fell back into place easily and I began to look forward to the usual flow of things. Though, as with riptides in the sea, life can surprise and take a direction your weren’t expecting – it can also drown you if you’re not careful. Grateful, I was, that was not the case on this particular outing.

The Potter Gang seemed unusually cheerful on the morning in question and I assumed that they were expressing a renewed gratitude of how I have raised their quality of life. I knew they would understand, eventually. We all prepared for my morning constitutional, welcoming the extra body; safety in numbers, you see.

The day was looking marvelously dry as we headed out east toward a destination that I would only question once it was too late. I am far too trusting with my family. I did glean that we were meeting new people and one in particular, “Lucy” that seemed to be held in high regard by the Potters. I was intrigued, to say the least. She sounded regal and had impeccable etiquette – and now I caught whispers of being connected by relation, so I hoped to make a good impression.

She was rather elegant Whippet and much quicker at commands than I – even impressed the Potter Gang with her “pretty pose” that I do not have much success with…but I have learned to shake paws this week!

She smells nice and has a wisdom that I lack. I could certainly learn something from this sage woman – if she’d be willing to be my mentor. I am worthy.

For now, the honour of calling her kin is enough.

Posted by: piratebonny | October 3, 2010

Friends Among Outlaws: Part III

After dealing with Hugsy, the nightly raiders, sky monsters and the more uncouth of the Devil’s Lake inhabitants, I was dog-tired (if you’ll pardon the expression) and requested that I be allowed to rest and gather my strength in the sun. We reached base camp and I could stand no more, Cuddle Guns be hanged. I didn’t think it mattered any more what was to happen to us since the thought of going home felt like an impossible dream. If I had to live at Devil’s Lake, I was going to do it on my terms.

Not to say life was all work and no play. I was still surrounded by my family, the Potter Gang, and there were even times when members of the Cuddle Guns crew had been more than kind to me. Hugsy was gruff in public, but late at night when we sat around the fire to ward off the more formidable thieves, she purred like a kitten and had a tender touch. I can admit she softened my heart as well.

There was always food, we were ever-close to water; it may have not been my fair Willamette River, but any water makes me as happy as a flea in a doghouse so I would learn to enjoy this Devil’s Lake, though surrounded by rogues. Some even dare to call me as such, which I find amusing but I claim innocence! I am merely misunderstood by my playful actions. I’m a good dog, I am.

Anyway, so perhaps things between our two parties were changing and relationships were being made. I believe Big-Eye was still preparing for another battle; I knew he was still formulating our escape. No-Eye was not considered a threat (however still, no sharp implements were allowed within her reach) and was now allowed to roam the campsite on her own. My loyal companion never strayed far from me.

Strangely enough, we were given a chance by the most unlikely of creatures. The Potter Gang was allowed to accompany me during an afternoon break, in which we headed to the pier in a moment of attempted happiness. I was pleased to be with my kin and not under the watchful eye of the Cuddle Guns, but we were still new to this territory and our options looked bleak. We were making the best of a bad situation…and then we met him.

Tall, dark, handsome; had you told me 3 weeks ago I would have my head turned by some silly dog, I would have laughed at you. Yet, I caught sight of quite the distinguished Lab and Mastiff mix and he even smelled good. He was one of the older denizens who alone tried to alay my anxiousness and feelings of uncertainty only he happened to notice. I prided myself on being able to mask my feelings and keep my composure, but I suppose my will was beginning to weaken.

He kindly and wisely spoke with Hugsy and somehow, as if by magic, convince her that the Potter Gang and I should be let free to go home. We were soon headed toward my beloved Willamette – but not before a goodbye sniff to that burly dog. I didn’t even get his name…

The Cuddle Guns crew eventually scattered, no doubt planning their next dubious plot, but I invited Hugsy to be a welcomed part of my company any time. I didn’t think the Potter Gang would mind and even if they did – who cares when it is I who commands this ship?

Posted by: piratebonny | September 26, 2010

Devil’s Lake: Glorious Sky Monsters!

Glorious Sky Monsters: Part II

The next day, our party headed out for more provisions. Rather, the Cuddle Guns Crew went about their business and allowed me my morning walk with Big-Eye Potter while they interrogated No-Eye Potter. I had wanted to stay and insure my companion’s safety, but I really had to pee.

Devil's Lake MarauderBig-Eye took this chance to alert me of several new developments regarding Devil’s Lake. There may have been an agreed upon truce among the populace, but there were still other marauders in the area who lived outside of the encampments and attacked at night. I was told they were easy to recognise by their masks and fondness for stripes. Apparently, there had been an initial raid the first night we arrived, but No-Eye had shielded me from the news, not wanting to add more tension and allowing me to rest soundly. They didn’t get away with anything of consequence – this was familiar territory to the Cuddle Guns, so they knew how to stash their loot – but some of my personal food had disappeared which was kindly replaced by our captors.

There was also more of the Cuddle Guns crew coming. Big-Eye had overheard that someone named Hugsy was on their way. I didn’t know then, but she was one of the most dangerous in the lot – keeping me very close and under her constant scrutiny. I believe she would have taken me further away from my clan, demanding a higher ransom, had her crew allowed it.

Also, we were temporarily moving camp. Big-Eye wasn’t certain as to why but understood that the Cuddle Guns did not wish to leave us unattended and spread their forces too thin. We started out relatively early morning and once we reached the coastline, I became more aware of how vulnerable we were outside of camp.

Sky MonsterIn the air, what did we come upon but a myriad of savages dressed in colours gay and bright – but deadly as some of them dived at our heads. Sky monsters of every shape and colour were warring with one another on the beach and worse when they fell, those of us on the ground ran for cover. Even our guards seemed ill at ease with the presence of so many obviously hungry for battle.

The largest of them glared down with long tentacles and huge green eyes that I had never seen the likes before or ever will again, I pray. I stood firm and kept the huge one at bay, even if it meant I was saving our jailers. This is the stuff of nightmares and for friend or foe – no one was going to be harmed in my presence.

Sea MonstersNot only did we have those horrors to contend with, but I feared to get too close to the water as I spied creatures coming out of the waves. They did not come upon land but beckoned to us like sirens. Devil’s Lake was appropriately named as I felt we were surrounded by demons.

Once the Cuddle Guns completed their nefarious transactions and felt it was safe to head back to base camp, I almost welcomed the familiar sight. I wondered if I were ever to go home again and what would become of me and my kin…

Friends Among Outlaws

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